


came back with flags on coffins and said "we won"

by ragegoddess



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-14 10:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragegoddess/pseuds/ragegoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Brendon won’t stop singing."</p><p>"I’m pretty sure I remember something about him getting paid for that."</p><p>"No. Like. Brendon won’t stop singing <em>to me."</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	came back with flags on coffins and said "we won"

**Author's Note:**

> I got the summary for this stuck in my head and I made myself write the fic surrounding it. This was meant to be more about Brendon being cute but turned into me butchering Ryan's character so I hope that's your thing. Song titles are italicized but Brendon's singing is not. If it sounds weird it's a song. Probably.
> 
> Also thanks to alaserquest for the beta even though she doesn't really know who any of these people are. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and i am not attempting ownership of real people. if you know any of the people in this fic, or are any of the people in this fic, it's best you don't continue down this page.

Ryan has a problem. Well, Ryan has a lot of problems, like the fact that Jon has the television up way too loud and Spencer isn’t around to bitch him out for it. And the fact that the hem of his favorite paisley button down is fraying and he can’t seem to quit worrying at it with his fingers. At the moment, though, number one on his list of problems is Brendon Urie.

"Jon, turn the fucking TV down, I need to talk to you about something."

Jon does not, in fact, turn the fucking TV down, but instead tilts his head to the left and blinks a few times, as if batting at Ryan in morse code that he’s listening.

That’s actually probably all he’s gonna get. 

"Have you noticed anything off about Brendon lately?"

At that, Jon actually mutes the TV and turns to face Ryan. He looks sort of worried which pisses Ryan off to no end. For all Jon knows, Ryan has the black plague or something. Obviously he doesn’t because Ryan is the perfect picture of health but the fact remains that Jon has a big gross soft spot in his big gross heart for Brendon and, apparently, not Ryan. Fucking disgusting.

"Is he okay?" Jon sounds like he _cares._ Ryan can feel the bile rising in his throat.

"God, dude, yeah he’s fine. Well, sort of."

Ryan doesn’t really have time to finish his tale of woe, because Brendon comes out from the bunks, sleep rumpled and sort of grumpy looking. Which is not cute at all. 

"Ryan Ross!" Brendon seems to shed his sleepiness like an extra skin and he leaps onto the couch next to Ryan. He throws a leg over Ryan’s lap and smushes his face into Ryan’s neck, crooning softly, "Good morning, Starshine, the Earth says hello! You twinkle above us, you twinkle belooowww." 

He drags the last note out so long, Ryan’s sure he’s gonna get some sort of wet rug burn on his neck. With spit. Spit burn. Gross. This is why he wears scarves all the time. 

Brendon’s talking again. "I’m gonna make some tea. Do you want any?"

Ryan’s not big on tea. It’s like. Pretentious. He says in the politest tone he can manage, "Yeah, no thanks."

"Are you sure?" Brendon’s voice is chirpy and excited and his fingers dig into Ryan’s sides, using his body as some sort of fulcrum to stand himself up. Ryan gasps and Brendon rubs quick circles in the spots he pinches before practically hopping his way to the bus kitchen. 

"I’m gonna make you some anyway. You’re looking peaky."

 _Peaky_ what the hell.

Brendon’s humming and making way too much racket for a grown man boiling water. "How much sugar do you want?"

"Um, none. I don’t want tea."

"You could use some sweetening, Ryan Ross. _Sugar sugar!_ You are my candy girl."

"Brendon fucking Christ I don’t want-"

Brendon cuts him off by launching into the chorus of _Candyman_ and practically swinging his hips into the table.

Ryan turns back to Jon. "Jon!" 

He doesn’t even look up from the muted TV. "You better drink that tea. He doesn’t need anymore fucking sugar."

" _Jon._ "

"What?" He sounds bored. 

"Are you? Are you not _seeing_ this?"

Then again, "What?"

Fucking Jon. Spencer will know what to do.

**

"Brendon won’t stop singing."

"I’m pretty sure I remember something about him getting paid for that."

"No. Like. Brendon won’t stop singing _to me."_

"Hmm."

Spencer flips another page in his magazine and taps his fingers. He contemplates Kim’s new waistline much more seriously than Ryan’s dilemma. 

Fucking Spencer.

**

It’s not until after he knocks on the door to the Cobra bus that he realizes it’s probably not his best idea ever. Luckily William is the one to open the door, smelling faintly of pot. His grin is dry and wide. It looks like if he isn’t careful words will just spill out of the corners unannounced. He practically throws himself down the fold out stairs to give Ryan a hug. 

Spencer likes to tell him that he looks really dumb around tall people. Fuck that, though. Ryan knows he looks damn cute next to tall people, tucked under their arm. Especially William who’s, like, a baby giraffe. 

"Young Ryan, what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

"I have a Brendon problem."

William sighs and nods against the top of Ryan’s head, like those words are enough to explain the whole problem to him and he understands wholeheartedly. Maybe he can hear Ryan’s thoughts through where his chin is digging into Ryan’s scalp. 

"Let’s walk and talk."

Ryan’s about 98% certain no one says that anymore but he doesn’t begrudge William the turn of phrase because he’s being so understanding and supportive. He imagines William opening a self help company and running all the phone lines himself. He’d call everyone "hon" and coo a lot and sing and laugh and no one would ever be sad after talking to him. He’d probably commission Sisky into bringing Baby in and have her meow on the phone to the extra sad customers. Oh fuck. What about a self help line run just by cats? Not cats on the phone, obviously, but you could charge people to come in and play with cats for eight dollars an hour or something. Fuck that’s good. 

"-and I understand. You’re growing and you’re noticing changes and maybe you get boners at opportune moments and it doesn’t make sense and that’s _okay_ you’re okay this is a judgment free zone young Ross."

Wait.

"William what are you talking about?"

"Your Brendon problem."

"I never told you what my Brendon problem was."

"Ryan you don’t have to tell me I can sense it. You’re finally realizing your attraction to Brendon and you’re afraid. Maybe because you’re both boys. Maybe because you have filthy fantasies about him and you’re afraid he hasn’t left all of his religious teachings behind him. Maybe because he’s five years old at heart and you’re worried what that says about you as a person."

"Oh my God."

William waves his hand in the vicinity of Ryan’s face before managing to press his fingers tight against Ryan’s mouth.

"Just. Hush little baby."

His fingers aren’t really covering Ryan’s mouth more like they’re beginning to shove inside it and rub along his tongue. Jesus his fingers are long too they could probably reach his gag reflex no problem. Ryan doesn’t really wanna stick around and find out. He pulls William’s fingers out of his mouth and pushes them back towards their owner.

"It’s all right. Um, your advice really helped I’m all better now. Thanks, Bill."

William puts his wet fingers to his forehead in a sort of salute and lopes away in the opposite direction of the bus, curiously sucking his fingers into his mouth. 

Jesus Christ.

**

He decides to talk to Gabe anyway and ends up with a lot of "hey kid"s and "condoms are your friend"s and "sometimes people show affection in different way"s. And definitely a contact high and maybe also a regular high and a pamphlet on unwanted pregnancy that he’s finally sobering up enough to wonder where it came from. 

It’s noon and he has two hours until sound check so he heads back to the Panic bus. He drops the pamphlet on Spencer’s bunk as a sort of fuck you for the conversation they had earlier before falling into his own and drifting off. 

**

By the time sound check is over it seems his problem has grown. Brendon spends the whole thing rubbing on his side like a needy cat and singing into places other than his mic. Which, actually, isn’t that odd for their shows if he thinks about it. But it’s definitely amped up. Spencer and Jon don’t say a God damn thing about it either. Fucking assholes. 

It’s time for some serious offensive action.

**

He starts leaving the room every time Brendon enters. Which, if you’re Spencer, _is not ah-fensive action it’s uh-fensive action, Ryan._ And then he kinda squints a little like he’s trying to glare but also trying not to laugh at his own joke. 

For a best friend, he’s really not a lot of help

**

Brendon hasn’t really stopped his singing, though. He’s actually increased it, according to Spencer and Jon. He’ll look glumly at whatever is around him after Ryan leaves and sings songs about heartache and that one Fort Minor song that he likes to sing when he loses his phone. But now he’s singing it about _Ryan_ and it’s not even really funny anymore. 

"It’s like you totally broke his heart," Jon says and nods excitedly. Like Brendon’s pain is thrilling when it can be used against Ryan in some way. 

**

Ryan’s lying in his bunk tugging his pillow around his ears because apparently Brendon’s sad singing isn’t only to be contained to Ryan-less rooms. It’s also something he does at night when he thinks everyone is asleep. It’s midnight and he’s about three lines into _I Will Survive_ and Ryan does something stupid. 

Ryan kisses Brendon. 

And he’s not even sure how he got out of his bunk and over to Brendon’s without his body noticing but he does. He’s also not sure if it’s because he wants to kiss Brendon because it’s _Brendon_ or because he’s tired of him looking so sad or, most likely, he needs the singing to stop and what better way to do that than _with his mouth._

Brendon apparently is just as good at kissing as he is at singing and after what feels like hours, Ryan pulls back, panting slightly, breath fanning across Brendon’s mouth. 

"Ryan Ross," Brendon’s voice is a hushed whisper, "do you have a crush on me?"

Fuck. "I think so." Brendon’s fingers tighten in Ryan’s sleep shirt. And, "Jon says I broke your heart. He’s wrong, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah he’s wrong. You put my heart back together, Ryan Ross."

Ryan isn’t really sure what he means by that but then Brendon’s pulling him in for another kiss and he finds himself crawling into the too small bunk. He ends up falling asleep, tucked into all of Brendon’s corners. 

**

Maybe Brendon wakes him up by singing _Once Upon A Dream._

Maybe Ryan isn’t even mad about it. 


End file.
